Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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