she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
