I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
