when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I cannot find my penis.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize