You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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