Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
