what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
