community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
