I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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