Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize