Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize