Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
