so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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