Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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