Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize