That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
