hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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