I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Barsexuality is the new black.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
