I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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