I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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