your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
