dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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