Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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