nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
