i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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