I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
