I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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