mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
