Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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