Your face is a jimmy john
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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