I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
