Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
