:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize