like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
