i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
