I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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