Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
