the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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