He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
