I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
