went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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