we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
