Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize