if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
