i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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