Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
