I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
