1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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