That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
