I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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