That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
