You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
