I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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