They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
