Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
