i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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