i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
