I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Me too!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Randomize
