I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
