I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
