She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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