Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
